I thought I knew who I was and where I was headed. When I was growing up, I was very self-assured. I felt confident in all my decisions and had strong faith that my path in life would continue to unroll in front of me clearly and seamlessly without any detours. That, of course, did not happen.
Like everyone else in this world, I’ve gotten lost, taken detours, hit dead ends, made u-turns and gotten turned around to the extent that I’m rarely sure that the path I am on is the right one. Pavement turns to gravel and then dirt and I know I missed a turn some where behind me. How could I have missed it?
With every day that passes I continue making my way through this life. But I refuse to travel aimlessly and passively. Have you even taken a road trip and found yourself on a long stretch of highway with scenery that seems to repeat itself mile after mile? While there may be a sense of comfort in knowing that this ten minutes of the journey will be the same as the next ten minutes and the ten minutes after that and the ten minutes after that, soon that long stretch of road grows tiresome. Your eyes glaze over and you no longer see the landscape around you. It’s just a blur in your peripheral vision that you no longer even acknowledge. I want to experience and feel all that I can. Otherwise what is the point?
I have realized that life is messy, amazing, winding, and constantly under construction. That’s part of the journey, and I wouldn’t wish it any other way. But it’s not always easy. Sometimes the challenges and obstacles seem insurmountable. Sometimes we have to pull over to scream and cry and pound our fists against something. But then we start again and go. Other times we are in awe of the world around us. The sun shines brightly from above and everything feels right and aligned in our favor.
I want to be present, to really see the world around me, in both the easier and the hard moments. This is better than life passing me by in a blur, than me passing through life with my eyes closed or in a daze, never really seeing or feeling anything.
This blog is my attempt to capture some of these moments. It is my attempt to find a stronger sense of purpose and meaning and to make more sense out my chaotic, beautiful, disastrous, and magical journey. It is my attempt to embrace the twists and turns and the detours and, by sharing it, to let others know that they are not alone in this life.