“Love is not about two halves making a whole. You need to be whole on your own.”
– My Mom
I got my first boyfriend when I was in kindergarten. He could run faster than anyone in our grade, and his dad worked at the zoo. Needless to say he was quite a catch. We held hands at lunch, and I told my mom I was in love.
Through the years I teetered between serious relationships and the casual dating life of a single girl. My mom’s words had rung clear and true in my mind, and I maintained a strong level of independence throughout it all. I never looked to anyone else to define or fulfill me as a person. I experienced deep connections and intimacy that tempted me to change course, but instead I always stayed true to myself.
Until I didn’t.
I landed in a relationship that was hard, really hard. In my determination to make it work, I sacrificed and gave away too much of myself. Despite my mom’s wisdom and my intention to follow it, I ended up immersed so completely in someone else that I had begun to disappear.
I had enough sense of self to finally leave the relationship behind, but being single again and looking in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. So much of me was missing, so I started rebuilding. I focused on finding the missing pieces and put my self and my life back together.
The experience allowed me to see what the right kind of love and relationship should look like, and while putting the pieces back together, I met K. He gave me the space, time, and support I needed to focus on myself while we got to know each other. He understood the importance of being and feeling like a whole person.
K. and I are married now, and I still take time for myself and focus on fulfilling the important aspects of my life both with and without my husband. No matter what happens, I know that I can stand on my own. I know who I am and I rely only on myself for fulfillment and happiness.
Love is not about two halves making a whole. It is not about completing each other. It is about two people coming together to intertwine and share their lives together. You have to be whole on your own.
In response to the Discover Challenge:
A Piece of Advice